Sunday, December 25, 2005

Review: The Miracle of Life

Brighteyes is a biology nut. I thought she and her sister might be ready for this DVD, so I pulled it out. She's always been curious about babies, and I have always answered her questions until they reach the point of describing intercourse. (She usually only asks one or two at a time, and has only twice gone to that point. Fetal and infant development is just so much more interesting.) I remember watching it in grade school, and finding the presentation both tasteful and enthralling.

Brighteyes found the evolutionary talk at the beginning interesting, the middle boring, and the ending riveting. "Ooh, babies!"

Sunshine lacks her sister's intense interest in babies, so I thought she would be bored. Instead she stuck with it all the way. She grinned and said, "Sperm chased egg, and egg runned away!" I think she thought it was a Loony Tunes cartoon.

I was so young the last time I watched this film I missed the incredible snark potential in what I now call the Great Sperm Chase. There were times when my husband and I could scarcely keep a straight face, and Goddess forbid we should look at each other.

Narrator: Some sperm don't wait until they reach the egg, but try to impregnate the first round object they see, such as this ordinary body cell.

Mom: <Choke!>

Still, if the girls were old enough to see this they were old enough to get some version of "The Talk", even if it was only a watered-down version. "Now remember!" I said. "Having a baby is at least an 18-year commitment! Don't even think of starting one until you have a partner lined up to help you; and the time, money, and resources to commit to bringing up a child."

Brighteyes stared at me and said, "But Mommy, you won't tell me what I need to know!"

My heart jumped. Was I about to have to give the full-blown "Talk"? "Of course I will, honey. I'll answer any question you ask."

"No you won't!"

"Yes I will. I promise."

"No you won't!"

"I promise. What's your question?"

"You won't tell me how much it cost to have a baby!"

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